Valentine’s Day is often seen as a celebration of romantic love, but it is also a reminder of the many forms that love can take—especially the profound love between a parent and child. This year, I want to share a touching story that highlights a moment of pure joy and connection: a mother’s experience when her neurodiverse child wrapped his arms around her, and spoke the words “I love you” for the first time.
For many parents of neurodiverse children, communication can be a complex journey. Words may come more slowly, and the nuances of language can be challenging. For some, verbal communication may not be a primary mode of expression. Instead, love is often communicated through actions—through a gentle touch, a hug, or the comfort of being together and snuggling.
For one mother, Mary’s journey, like so many, was filled with hard work, planning, perseverance, and patience. She never complained but often wondered if her son felt love as deeply as she felt it toward him. Despite the challenges, she never lost hope that one day, Lance would find a way to express his feelings.
As Valentine’s Day approached, Mary decided to create a special day filled with love and connection. She decorated their home with hearts, baked cookies, and prepared the sofa for a cozy movie night. As they snuggled together, a sense of warmth and peace filled the room. In that moment, Lance turned to her and, with a soft but clear voice, said, “I love you” as he gave her a big hug.
Time seemed to stand still. Mary felt tears welling in her eyes—not from sadness, but from overwhelming joy. It was a moment she had dreamed of, and it was finally happening. The words flowed from her sweet child’s lips, carrying with them a weight of meaning that transcended the simplicity of the phrase.
It was more than just a verbal expression; it represented a breakthrough in their relationship. It was a testament to the countless hours she had spent nurturing her child’s emotional development, finding ways to connect without the need for words. It reminded her that love is not always about how we communicate, but about the depth of feeling behind those communications.
In that monumental, magical moment, Mary realized Lance understood love in his own unique way. It might not always be verbal, but it was profound and real. This experience opened doors to short conversations and connections, fostering a bond that would grow stronger and deeper.
This Valentine’s Day, let us celebrate the myriads of ways we express love. Whether through spoken words, gifts, gestures, or simply being present for one another, love knows no boundaries. For parents of neurodiverse children, every “I love you” is a victory, a reminder of the progress made, and a call to cherish the unique ways their children express affection.
Let’s explore how to make Valentine’s Day a meaningful experience by creating activities tailored to your child’s individuality, maintaining routines with a festive twist, and fostering moments of connection and joy. Whether it’s crafting heartfelt cards, engaging in sensory play, or baking sweet treats together, the focus is on celebrating love in ways that resonate with your child’s unique personality and preferences.
- Remember Individuality: Tailor activities to your child’s interests. If they love a specific character or theme, incorporate it into cards or decorations.
- Stay Patient: Be flexible with plans. Allow your child to engage at their own pace, and celebrate small moments of connection, like smiles or laughter.
- Communicate Clearly: Use visual aids to outline the day’s activities. Encourage your child to express their preferences and feelings, listening to their cues. Explain it is a special holiday.
- Keep to your Routine: Do not deviate from your schedule, but mix in Valentine’s Day themes with familiar activities, like making Valentine cards while enjoying a special meal, or watching a favorite movie.
- Celebrate Progress: Praise all efforts or achievements throughout the day. Make a Valentine’s Day collage with markers and stickers or a “Valentine’s Journal” to document special moments during the day.
- Seek Support: Reach out to other parents or resources for ideas and activities they might be doing on Valentine’s Day. Seek out community sponsored events.
- Stay Positive: Focus on connection rather than perfection.
Activities for Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Cards:
Gather colored paper, scissors, glue, stickers, and markers. Empty out your craft supplies. Sit down together at a table and brainstorm who you want to make cards for (family, friends, teachers). Encourage your child to think about what makes each person special. Help them cut out heart shapes and decorate the cards with drawings, stickers, and messages. You can model how to write simple phrases like “I love you” or “You are special.”
Themed Sensory Bin:
Choose a container (like a shoebox or small plastic tub) and fill it with items with different textures (soft, rough, squishy, etc.), scents (herbal sachets, scented play dough), and small toys or objects. Decorate the outside of the box with stickers or drawings related to love and friendship. Discuss how each item feels or smells, and what it reminds them of. Describe their favorite item and why they like it.
Heart Scavenger Hunt:
Prepare heart-shaped cutouts or small objects (like toys or candies) beforehand and write positive messages or clues on them. Hide these items around your home or yard. Provide your child with a list or hints to find them. Set a timer for added excitement. Discuss the message.
Cooking Together:
Gather ingredients for heart-shaped cookies or cupcakes (cookie dough, icing, sprinkles, etc.) and necessary baking tools. Guide your child through the process of mixing ingredients, rolling out dough, and using cookie cutters to create heart shapes. Once baked, let them decorate with icing and sprinkles. Talk about favorite flavors and colors and encourage them to share their thoughts.
Story time with a Twist:
Choose a book that focuses on themes of friendship or love (like “Guess How Much I Love You” by Sam McBratney or “The Day It Rained Hearts” by Felicia Bond). Read the story together, pausing to discuss the characters’ feelings and actions. After reading, create simple puppets using socks or paper bags to represent the characters. Encourage your child to act out the story or create a new ending.
Check out these additional resources we’ve compiled over the years:
Valentine’s Day Fizzy Art Craft
You are my Sunshine Sing-along
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